Are you a hermit?   Wanna be a hermit?

Join the International Association of Hermits!

1st level of membership: For two dollars (includes Shipping and Handling), we’ll send you an official membership card. This card will in no way facilitate access, entry or participation in any meetings, conventions or spontaneous gatherings. It is for your use only and bears no picture, member number, member name and requires no signature or thumbprint. We’ll also toss in an official button which you can wear proudly anywhere, anyplace you like.

2nd level of membership: For just five dollars (includes Shipping and Handling), you get all the fabulous features of level one, the official membership card and the official button, PLUS the official map of Hermit, Missouri!

3rd level of membership: This is our ‘jackpot” membership package—it has ALL the above, the official membership card, the official button, the official map AND a brand new official Hermit T-shirt bearing the official International Association of Hermits logo! All this for just $24.99! (Plus Shipping & Handling) Select Size, then click the shirt to submit your order. S M L XL XXL

As the top hermit, I can and will appoint the first hermit applying from each State and territory as the official State Regional Coordinating Hermit or SRCH agent for short.

If you are from outside the United States, you can become our International Far-Out Hermit or IFOH agent for short. What an honor! You won’t have any meetings to attend, no directives to read, no instructions to follow and no phones to answer. What more do you need? You don’t have to talk to anyone. You don’t have to look at anyone. You don’t have to touch anyone... It's PERFECT!!

Are you a friend of a hermit?
It grieves me to have to point this out.  There are, actually, those Hermits among us who are living a double life.  There are those who still maintain contact with friends.  Hard to believe.  No, don’t despair for all is not lost here.

You see, some of these f-r-i-e-n-d-s are actually unrecognized and undeclared Hermits just needing someone to show them the light.  You can spot them out there easily alright...   They are going against the tide, going always against the grain.  They are unhappy, disgruntled souls.  Raging constantly against the establishment, complaining and dissatisfied.  They are always finding fault with everything around them.   They appear un-kept and disheveled.  Yes, you know them, they wear white socks and brown shoes with black slacks.  They need your help!

You can rescue these poor misguided creatures today!
Introduce them to the Hermit Community now, for a limited time, or at least until the Arctic ice stops melting, whichever comes first.  We, out of the goodness of our Hermit hearts will look the other way.

Yes, through a Gift Certificate we will give you the means so that these wretches can join into the Hermit Community at no cost to themselves.

Remember—Hermits are no good at playing Hide-n-Seek,
Hermits don’t mass protest and Hermits, true Hermits, don’t lobby Congress...